Grief is something everyone must deal with at certain times. Our attachments to things and to people make grieving inevitable. The grieving journey is one that will be different for everyone but there will be certain recognizable stages that everyone will transition through.
- The initial stage of dealing with your grief will be one of disbelief and a certain numbness. This is the first stage of adjustment and transition which will soon be followed by more emotional reactions. There will be anger and questioning as well as crying and an intense yearning for that departed loved one. These are all helpful to your transition despite the pain they will inevitably invoke.
- You may find yourself falling into a bleak despair and even begin to withdraw from all that has been familiar. While the withdrawal can be helpful, you must try to not totally isolate yourself from all that is familiar and comforting. Most people are clumsy and inept with regard to trying to bring comfort and consolation. They tend to do and say things that are not really helpful at all. They fail to realize that, quite often, the best help they can be is to just be there in silence for you.
- As you move through your grief you will find that you will be different. What you had considered “normal” will no longer be so. You will begin to forge a new path, a new way that has incorporated your loved one as well as the grief you are struggling through.
- You can’t try and hide from your grief or try and “stay busy” in the hope that it will go away. You must confront it and be with it and make it a part of the new you. Acknowledge to yourself that you are in pain and be gentle and forgiving with yourself. There is no playbook for how to deal with grief. It is personal and only belongs to you.
- At the other end of grieving will be a new path, a new direction, for you. You will have infused your grief, your joy, and the memory of your loved one into the new you; into your new life path.